Father

Your father was gone, even when he was there. Feeling unworthy of you;
feeling inadequate of parenting you, he stepped aside leaving you to
wonder, why? Why wasn’t he my friend?

You tried to engage him by being what he needed, by emulating him. It worked
for a while and then he slipped away, again. As womanhood approached, you
felt fatherless.

You promised yourself that you would find another man to fill the void, and
this time, you would make it work.

Grieve to understand this primal loss and the mystery of the man you called
“Father.”


Reason: 47 Page: 65 From: Kiss your Life

By: Dr. Ann Mody Lewis, Ph. D

Father:

Commentary

Every man carries within himself a ‘wounded father’.

He is:

+ The son who didn’t know his father.

+ The man who was afraid care for his children.

+ The husband who feels less worthy than his wife.

+ The father who hides behind his work and importance

+ The man who wasn’t sure he wanted to be a father at all.

The ‘wounded father’ is the mysterious man children watch and wonder about. His mystery becomes their pain. The legacy of woundedness is passed from generation to generation leaving sons wandering alone looking for love and direction.

The absence of fathers from families is one of the great underestimated tragedies of our time. If men are going to change the world they must understand the ‘wounded father’. He must find ways of being male that reflect a richer, fuller sense of   self than the distorted image of manhood he carries from the past. Finding the good in his father will help to feel good about himself. Identifying the bad about his father will help him to change himself.

When he has expanded his manhood beyond his father’s limitations he can pray for the man he wanted to love:

Lord, shepherd my dad today

in green pastures let him lay

To still waters guide his way

Restoreth his soul, I pray

Lead him in the path of right

Through the valley give him light

When he is afraid ease his fright

With Thy rod and staff lend might

Prepare a table of spoil

Anoint his head with oil

Give to him a cap that’s royal

Let goodness follow his toil

And Thy mercy cease never

May he dwell in Thy house forever.

Anonymous

This month’s topic may be an awakening for sons and daughters who wonder about the ‘forgotten parent’ they call father.