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lanning self-time is not a luxury, it’s a necessity! self-time is not selfish, it’s essential! |
It is the time you spend doing whatever you want, being wherever you want to be and spending time with whoever keeps you happy.
self-time requires you to put aside, for a short period of time, all the responsibilities that pressure you. During self-time, your only responsibility is you. Your only stressor may be deciding what you want to do, who will take over your responsibilities and how you will manage the guilty feelings that will question your right to be free. Releasing yourself from conflict with those who think you should not need self-time may dim your excitement.
self-time is your time to recall whatever renews your spirit. This type of self-renewal keeps you balanced even during stressful times. It expands your fortitude, deepens your patience, calms your anxieties and helps you remember that your life belongs to you.
self-time helps you to recharge so that when you are in charge, you feel renewed. When you deprive yourself of self-time, others will be deprived of you most of the time.
Reason: 348 Page: 366 From: 'Kiss your Life'
By:Ann Mody Lewis, Ph. D
Self-Time:
Commentary
Self-Time is essential time! It is the time we spend reading, relaxing in a hot shower or tub, gardening, watching movies or dong anything that we enjoy because enjoyment rejuvenates our spirit. It is stepping away from our responsibilities to remember that our life belongs to us. Self-time wants us to acknowledge our needs so we can better address the needs of others.
If we don’t have enough ‘self-time’ there is a deep intelligence within us that never develops. We need to ‘pause’ –even for a short time—to maintain our emotional survival. Sue Bender in ‘Everyday Sacred’ calls these pauses “Little Sabbaths”.
WOMEN often feel guilty taking time for themselves. They are flooded with thoughts of ‘all they could be doing.’ Their compulsion to be productive makes taking care of themselves feel like a ‘waste of time.’ Women who neglect their personal needs for long periods of time, sometimes a lifetime, suffer profoundly from anger, resentment and depression.
A major transformation for every woman is knowing that HER self-time is the beginning of loving time.
MEN usually have a different agenda of self-time. They are less constricted by demands to be self-sacrificing. On the contrary, boys are encouraged to be self-indulgent in order to meet the requirements of masculinity. Men may feel entitled to self-time even when they notice a partner who has little of it.
A major transformation for men is teaching themselves and their partners that they are willing to do more so she can do less. Then BOTH will enjoy the best of each other.
The best “Golden Rule” is: SELF LOVE IS THE BEGINNING OF ALL LOVE BECAUSE IT FUELS, PROTECTS AND GUIDES THE HEART OF THE LOVER.
Join the discussion this month to readjust your understanding of love.
