Disappointments
Life is full of disappointments. Not because it is a harsh experience, but because it is a human experience.
In pursuit of a perfect love, you may forget that the ways you love, and the people you love, are always changing. No matter how deeply we love, it cannot synchronize our personal growth, emotional maturity or personality traits with another.
Disappointments come when we have neglected to be realistic enough to see others as they are, not who want them to be.
Realistic enough to know that if we appreciate differences, we can love someone who is different.
Realistic enough to remember that friendship is the foundation of all love and know that friendship takes time.
We would be less disappointed if we stayed close enough to ourselves and remembered that the humanity of others remains separate from our own.
Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are
By: Ann Mody Lewis, Ph.D.
Reason: 111 Page: 129
Commentary:
“You said you were a fairy princess
You said you were a shooting star
You said we'd go to Bora Bora
Now look at where the fuck we are”
― Jennifer Egan
There are those who say: “Expect nothing then you never are disappointed?” Is it humanly possible to have no expectations? The precursor for disappointment are expectations, hope, needs, dreams, ambitions and plans. Without them life can be a dispassionate experience!
Frank O’Hara wrote: “I embraced a cloud, but when I soared, it rained.” Embracing life doesn’t mean we eliminate disappointment. The rain will come to test our resolve and deepen our love. If we utilize our spirituality, we will realize the rain can bring new growth and unexpected progress.
Early in life and throughout life we learn about disappointment: Remember wanting a toy your parents couldn’t afford; the first crush on a girlfriend who chose someone else; not being selected for the football team; loving someone who wasn’t loving; ending a marriage you thought was forever; growing old and realizing your children don’t like taking care of you?
It’s important that we learn strategy to survive disappointment because if we don’t we may lose hope in life. Learning to adjust our thinking and acknowledge our hurt emotions helps us to grow from every disappointment. It forces us into maturity and a deeper relationship with life.
This month’s psycho-spiritual conversation targets the deepest part of who we are…emotional survivors of disappointments! Topics will eliminate: How childhood disappointments shape our psychology. Trying to be perfect won’t eliminate disappointment. How disappointments can be a new beginning. Don’t be shocked by disappointments, expect them!
Let’s talk!
Ann
