Sacrifice is Not the Solution

Sacrifice is Not the Solution

love again

When a problem needs to be solved or an obligation needs addressing, why is sacrifice your only solution?

Being the mistress of sacrifice will devastate your life. Everyone will assume that problems belong to you alone. This personal assumption of responsiblility entraps you and strips away your right to negotiate, delegate, compromise, create and be joined by those you love in a collaborative effort we call family.

Hold yourself back when sacrifice demands only your attention. Allow sacrifice to enter the hearts of those you love so the love you share with them is balanced and true. Let the sacrifice of those you love demonstrate to you how precious you are.

Finding solutions is an act of creative respect. Finding solutions together is another act of unity and relationship solidarity.

Step back from sacrifice. Step into equality. Then, whatever sacrifices are required can be shared by everyone.

Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are

By: Ann Mody Lewis, Ph.D.

Reason: 249 Page: 267


woman equality

Many stories have been written glorifying sacrifice. For sure, it is an important part of love, caring, and commitment but if prolonged sacrifice can spoil love. Making sacrifice an expression of love means we understand how love is serviced, not destroyed, by it. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein has become a classic demonstration of how confused we are about the purpose of sacrifice. A Tree loves a boy and sacrifices her apples, branches and trunk to the boy’s needs. A Stump is all that is left of Her. When the boy returns, in his old age, she invites him to rest on her. The Stump doesn’t seem to notice that too many sacrifices have all but destroyed her. We can become as clueless as the Tree when sacrifice is our only solution to problems?

Women are expected to be sacrificial and when they’re not sacrificial enough they’re thought to be selfish. For generations sacrifice has become embedded in a woman’s identity. Little girls watch their mothers surrender time and dreams for the betterment of the family. At the end of a woman’s life her sacrifice becomes the legacy of her love. No one seems to realize what happens to women who give all of their resources in order to create solutions.

This topic is not an attack on love; it’s an examination of how healthy love can be established so relationships survive and thrive. Love demands sacrifice, but not the self-annihilation the Giving Tree glorifies. A quote from Mahatma Gandhi distinguishes sacrifice from self-abandonment:

“The sacrifice which causes sorrow to the doer of the sacrifice is not sacrifice. Real sacrifice lightens the mind of the doer and gives them a sense of peace and joy.”


This month’s topic will be a journey into your personal consciousness where you face truth about love and life.

Topic will include: What is sacrifice? How does sacrifice serve love? Are the sacrifices of men different from those of women? What happens to us when we sacrifice too much?

Let’s talk about sacrifice so we can be better lovers.


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