The Power of ‘No’

The Power of 'No'


No is a word of power that makes women uncomfortable. You may reject your own truths in many ways just to avoid saying, “No!” Let me remind you that saying no does not have to be harsh, cruel or a punishment. Saying no is setting a boundary with another person who is trying to know you. It can be as simple as:

“I can’t do this right now.”

“I’m not ready!”

“I’m not interested.”

“ This is not a good time for me.”

“I’m not prepared for…”

No is your truth. It means that you are a woman close enough to herself to be comfortable with who you are. It means that you are involved enough in the relationship to be emotionally present to yourself, as you love another.

You are not a robot! You are a person who checks in with who you are so you can be with another person completely and authentically.

From: Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are

Reason: 224  Page: 242

By: Ann Mody Lewis Ph.D.



During your childhood, No was considered rebellion. As an adult, No can be a sign of power! The true meaning of No, which must include appreciating its power, is a hard lesson to learn.

Both men and women are emotionally depleted without invoking the power of No.  Men must be insightful enough to reject the kind of masculinity that polarizes their personality into dominance without kindness. Women must reject the shame of No to embrace the fullness of personhood.

In Praise of No

No, is just a word that expresses a power that can't be seen or heard,
It comes from deep within revealing an identity that is willing to take life on the chin,
Hurrah for the rebel in you that kicked up a storm every time your ideas were born,
The power of your No gives the world a new voice making creation an accomplishment of your choice!  (aml)

So, No can be your Yes to life!

For that April is a month we explore the controversial word that puts us on guard with ourselves and others. Topics will include:

Why NO is controversial.
Why we fear the power of NO.
The many ways NO can be misunderstood.
How is NO, YES to life?

No doubt about it...

We need to talk!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    I feel compelled to write a reflection of Joe Biden’s response to sexual abuse.

    As a woman, I especially respect the rights of all women to the sacred
    domain of their body in all phases of their lives. We should not have
    to enforce this respect. It should be our perfect right!

    In my
    recently published book I quoted Joe Biden’s message to a group of
    business men: “Culture needs to change.” He has also said more recently:
    “Social norms have changed.” Most men are aware of these
    changes brought about by the women’s movement. Sadly, there isn’t a
    similar movement for men, consequently, men feel left behind, betrayed
    and confused by what women are demanding.

    Male culture has always used women for their own purpose because they
    felt a right and responsibility to do so. Frederick Douglas told Susan
    B. Anthony “women weren’t ready for the vote.’ Women also needed to be
    defined by men and existed to enhance their lives. It was as culturally
    acceptable for men to use women as it was for women to be used.

    The women’s movement has changing our consciousness, norms,
    self-perception and sense of personal entitlement. Men flounder in their
    pursuit of a new culture that embraces manhood without insulting

    “Social norms have changed” is Joe Biden’s admission
    that his consciousness was different thirty years ago. It is an
    admission that he recognizes who he was, is not who he is now. Newton
    said: “I am not the man I used to be. I am not the man I want to be.”

    This very long message is NOT in support of .men abusing women. It is
    in support of men who DARE to change their consciousness because they
    know that a culture of abuse never did serve their purpose! Change
    requires admission first that clears the way for personal growth.

    This broad topic touches issues that our fathers, brothers, and sons face as women stand beside them! Let’s talk!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    I’m in central Florida for five days. Half of the people I’ve
    encountered have no face covering. It’s shocking that many Americans are
    playing ‘let’s pretend’ when sixty thousand Americans have died.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    As the country begins to open each of us will recognize the long-term
    psychological effects of social distancing. Find new ways to express
    closeness and kindness!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Every day we are faced with one inevitable challenge: What will I learn?

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    In the stress of this moment we may learn the beauty of SIMPLICITY!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    How you think and feel about a problem has a deeper impact on your health than the problem itself.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Living in fear is not the way to be safe. Living in awareness is much healthier.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Do you wonder how this crisis will change the rest of your life? Don’t
    let it deprive your future of what is needed to be healthy and happy.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Healing, loving, changing, creating…Imagination is the pathway of dreams!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Blessings were never meant to be hoarded;they were meant to empower us to help the powerless. (Playbook for Life)

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    We must make we don’t spend so much time surviving that we forget reflecting.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Easter is as much about the purposeful endurance of pain as it is about overcoming it.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    What we learn during any crisis makes it part of our spiritual journey.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    When we were busy we had little time to talk…causing human distancing.
    Now having time to talk can give us human comfort.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Happy Easter, my friends!
    This is my favorite holiday because its about the triumph.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Today is Palm Sunday:
    He sat on a donkey and road into Jerusalem.
    The poor and lowly waved palms singing:
    ‘Hosanna’ meaning: ‘God Save Us’
    “Hosanna now’…God, Save the life we knew as we move into a life that will be forever…different!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    The pandemic is weighing heavily on all of us and changing our
    perspective of what is important. Discussing the Power of No may not
    seem relevant, but think about how important NO is now!
    NO, your life will not be destroyed!
    NO, you won’t die?
    NO, you’re not worthless without a pay check!
    NO, the banks won’t destroy you?
    NO, this is not the end of the world!
    NO, you’re not alone!
    NO, you’re not inadequate because you can’t go to work!
    Let NO abolish your fears to make room for HOPE!