We talk a lot about finding the middle ground, because we know that is where truth lies. Yet our thinking is governed by polarity.
It is difficult for us to believe that loving ourselves is not taking us away from others.
It is hard for us to believe that needing private-time is not taking time away from others.
It is hard for us to believe that being angry with our husband or partner is not turning away from loving them.
Polarity creates untruths and misunderstanding more than any other type of thinking. It shames us, entraps us and keeps us from the middle ground where truth lies.
Socialization polarizes human behavior. If a man is gentle, he is accused of not being man enough. If a woman is strong, she is not feminine enough. This mentality makes it difficult for us to make peace with conflict.
To find the middle ground—which is a blend of opposite poles—we must allow ourselves to experience what we perceive to be evil or the enemy. Men must appreciate and embrace the gentleness of femininity. Women must appreciate and embrace the strength of masculinity.
By knowing the opposite, we become one.
Healthy people take polarity seriously in the pursuit of wholeness and peace. They know that the middle ground is where they must live and love.
From: Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are
Reason: 365 Page: 383
By: Ann Mody Lewis Ph.D.
We are worlds apart!
We are black and white...hot and cold.
We have no meeting of the minds.
These statements are signs of polarity.
Polarity indicates that our views are too far apart to ever find common ground. Reaching an agreement with a polarized thinker seems futile and can lead to hopelessness and despair. The views of polarized thinkers are so rigid, they're unable to be influenced by anyone...even those they love.
Polarity is a sign that fear and insecurity motivate the polarized thinker to cling to a false security they interpret as certainty. No one is more certain than a polarized person! You may marvel at their illogical thinking, but they will be undaunted by your amazement. Challenging a polarized thinker only forces them to defend their position with greater vehemence.
Polarized thinkers run the risk of becoming so lonely that their only refuge is befriending other polarized thinkers. They feel that anyone who challenges them are against them, thus their world view can become described as them against us.
Love, which is about openness, is negated by polarity which requires rigidity.
Relationship conflicts force the exposure of the polarized thinking. Resolving conflicts require listening, modifying, and adjusting so love can continue to grow. The polarized thinker will find all those requirements intolerable; and, if they pretend to concede, it may be with deep resentment that further undermines the intimacy.
During this month's discussion, we may discover the most attractive certainty is inviting uncertainty. Sounds strange? What is even stranger is always believing that you have to be right!
This month's discussion may surface your deepest fears and most exciting challenge: being a healthy thinker! Topics will include: What is polarity? How does polarity ruin love? Why the world's most powerful and destructive leaders promote polarity. Why polarized thinking creates unhealthy living.
Wanting to be emotionally healthy is our goal. Join me during the month of August in your quest for wholeness.