We talk a lot about finding the middle ground, because we know that is where truth lies. Yet our thinking is governed by polarity.

It is difficult for us to believe that loving ourselves is not taking us away from others.

It is hard for us to believe that needing private-time is not taking time away from others.

It is hard for us to believe that being angry with our husband or partner is not turning away from loving them.

Polarity creates untruths and misunderstanding more than any other type of thinking. It shames us, entraps us and keeps us from the middle ground where truth lies.

Socialization polarizes human behavior. If a man is gentle, he is accused of not being man enough. If a woman is strong, she is not feminine enough. This mentality makes it difficult for us to make peace with conflict.

To find the middle ground—which is a blend of opposite poles—we must allow ourselves to experience what we perceive to be evil or the enemy. Men must appreciate and embrace the gentleness of femininity. Women must appreciate and embrace the strength of masculinity.

By knowing the opposite, we become one.

Healthy people take polarity seriously in the pursuit of wholeness and peace. They know that the middle ground is where they must live and love.

From: Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are

Reason: 365  Page: 383

By: Ann Mody Lewis Ph.D.



We are worlds apart!

We are black and white...hot and cold.

We have no meeting of the minds.

These statements are signs of polarity.

Polarity indicates that our views are too far apart to ever find common ground. Reaching an agreement with a polarized thinker seems futile and can lead to hopelessness and despair. The views of polarized thinkers are so rigid, they're unable to be influenced by anyone...even those they love.

Polarity is a sign that fear and insecurity motivate the polarized thinker to cling to a false security they interpret as certainty. No one is more certain than a polarized person! You may marvel at their illogical thinking, but they will be undaunted by your amazement. Challenging a polarized thinker only forces them to defend their position with greater vehemence.

Polarized thinkers run the risk of becoming so lonely that their only refuge is befriending other polarized thinkers. They feel that anyone who challenges them are against them, thus their world view can become described as them against us.

Love, which is about openness, is negated by polarity which requires rigidity.

Relationship conflicts force the exposure of the polarized thinking. Resolving conflicts require listening, modifying, and adjusting so love can continue to grow. The polarized thinker will find all those requirements intolerable; and, if they pretend to concede, it may be with deep resentment that further undermines the intimacy.

During this month's discussion, we may discover the most attractive certainty is inviting uncertainty. Sounds strange? What is even stranger is always believing that you have to be right!

This month's discussion may surface your deepest fears and most exciting challenge: being a healthy thinker! Topics will include: What is polarity? How does polarity ruin love? Why the world's most powerful and destructive leaders promote polarity. Why polarized thinking creates unhealthy living.

Wanting to be emotionally healthy is our goal. Join me during the month of August in your quest for wholeness.

Let's talk!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Simplicity thinking is polarized thinking!
    Avoiding this trap takes energy.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Who is right?
    Who is wrong?
    Who is good?
    Who is bad?
    Polarity kills love when conversation is not strong!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    When our thinking is ‘polarized’ we’re avoiding possibilities.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    When we think and believe in opposites, peace is difficult to find.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Love is the story, yet untold
    Of life waiting to unfold.
    We turn the pages discovering
    love’s mystery…sometimes pages turn without
    our admission or permission.

    Sometimes love, so grand, causes pain we can hardly stand?
    It leaves us unfinished…
    Plucked from our dreams without tearing a seam.
    Only within are we revised…
    Concealed from the scrutney of anyone’s eyes.

    Love, keep writing my story even when it comes without glory.
    Forge the hope of redemptive pain.
    Make me humble, appreciative and wise,
    Teach when its hard to learn,
    Awaken me when I don’t want to see.

    ….because Love, you are greater than me!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Polarity shakes us out of what we take for granted in order to be more alive.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Dear Friends,
    I can only speak to you from the place beneath my feet.
    Now grief is my story to be told.
    The powerlessness of its defeat..
    The exhaustion of my body’s retreat…
    The quiet of my mind, so frozen in time..
    The searching for my daughter, gone from all earthly possibilities.
    Grief takes its time as it reorganizes the memories that are mine.
    It asks questions that have no answers…
    Begging for death’s acceptance so peace can be my reward.
    Grief, you are stronger than death..
    You are the bearer of new light.
    Changing my world in sacred revision.
    Teach me now to see what is holy will set me free.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    My dear Friends,
    Each of your messages is a comfort to me as I read them over and over again.

    Death has an ultimate power over our lives…perhaps that’s why we fear
    it so…but death cannot stop the Spirit of Life. In fact, death
    magnifies Life not by instilling fear but by generating appreciation.
    Each of your messages brought Life to me. Love is Life!
    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we realized that “we don’t have to be famous to do good, being lovers will due.’
    In love and gratitude, ann

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Don’t let polarity scare you…let it engage you!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    A good leader is able to minimize polarity among their people.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    When someone has an opposite view than you…its time to listen!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Love doesn’t erase polarity it find a common ground to resolve it.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Lovers can be defeated by polarity if they’re not brave enough to talk!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Distancing is hard for Huggers!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    The polarity in our government is causing suffering and death!
    I remind you: The way you vote will determine how you live, or if you live!

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Polarity may be as much about fear as it is about differences… staying stuck because we fear conversation.

  • Ann Mody Lewis

    Being worlds apart (polarity) can break your heart.
    Only patience and loyalty can bridge the gap