Facing Reality

 

Facing Reality

 

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You wanted your mother to be a saint and your father to be a hero. And because of that wanting, you overlooked their human insecurities.

Closing your eyes to their unhappiness, their nastiness, their inability to accept love, can become a mission in your life. The rejection of their reality keeps you stuck in the silence of your own disappointments, hurt and hunger for truth. Your strength conceals the truths you feel ashamed to tell because you fear they reflect a deficiency in your own identity.

From your parents you come, as well as the generations before them. You carry the hope of a new generation for your daughters and sons. Accepting the humanness of your parents is the pathway of elevating your own maturity. It says that we can face reality and love anyway.

In whatever is human, is both darkness and light.

To tell the whole story is to know the whole truth. The child in you wanted to be loved by a saint and guided by a hero, but the woman in you can love them as they are—or were—and yourself for having bigger dreams and a more mature heart.

From: Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are

Reason: 283 Page: 301

By: Ann Mody Lewis Ph.D.

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Commentary:

How many times have you been told to face reality!?

That admonition comes, of course, when reality is hardest to face.

...in the presence of illness
...death
...lost love
...deliberate cruelty
....reality is hard to face!

Children push hurtful realities out of their mind, because they don't have the maturity to resolve them.

Some adults continue this pattern of denial throughout their lives. Cultures encourage us to do so.

Facing reality is an important part of our journey to maturity. Throughout life we learn that love can be cruel and life a disappointment. We learn our dreams can be thwarted by unsupportive people and in a system that is stacked against us. Adults, unlike children, can face reality squarely in time to change the course of their history. In this way, facing reality is a heroic psychological journey.

No matter what reality we must face, time, patience, support from friends and family make it easier to accomplish the daunting struggles life places before us.

Remember this song?

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of a storm

There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone...

This one-one discussion brings us together to talk about life; so let's start 2021 by doing it! Our discussion will include facing the realities we fear. How the fear of reality can make facing it more difficult. Do men and women face reality differently? Why the test of our fortitude becomes the making of our character.

Let's face the new year with a deepened resolve to get real!

Ann