Did you confuse marriage with merger and merger with love?
Did you look for a partner who could know your thoughts, and finish your sentences?
Did you think that love could be so strong that your lover would anticipate your needs and preferences?
Merger is not love, but a threat to love.
To have moments of merger during lovemaking and meaningful experiences is stirring and motivating because it reminds you that your relationship is bound by common goals and emotions. A merger that makes your independence uncomfortable and a threat to your relationship is unhealthy because it expects you to sacrifice your deepest treasure: your identity.
Merger will make it difficult for you to function independently. It will create anxiety and tension during the absence of the significant other.
When merger is an ideal, the presence of independence, autonomy and individuality can become a sign of betrayal. As you die emotionally, so will the love—your love.
Love is not given to take from you. Love is a giver.
Love sees you and loves what it sees.
Love marvels at your uniqueness and wants you to accomplish your dreams. Love is too free to be imprisoned and too honest to accept the unhappiness of merger.