Everyone told him to be sexual. And so he was.
Now, they said. “You are a man.”
He tried to believe them, but his feelings would not follow his conviction.
More sex must be the answer. He did it again and again. “Was this manhood or love?” he wondered.
Soon he lost track of love and only being a man seemed important. He felt manly but lonely; competitive, but insecure; desperate, but dominant; manly, but childlike. No one knew just how divided against himself he had become.
He met you, and you wanted him to be so much. You needed what he thought was unimportant. He tried to teach you his way of living. You tried to teach him your way of living. How confused you both are, but your love for each other kept you together.
Trust in your love, both women and men, so life can be easier as a lover and friend.
365 Reasons to Love Who You Are from the book 'Kiss Your Life'
By:Ann Mody Lewis, Ph. D
Reason: 245 Page: 263
The adventure of loving someone is getting to know them, that’s why former President Jimmy Carter, while being interviewed about his recent book said: “I’m still getting acquainted with Rosalynn after 68 years of marriage!”
Every person who loves a man must understand the “boy within him.”
- It’s the boy that was harshly treated that becomes the man who can’t show mercy.
- It’s the abandoned ‘boy-within’ that feels solitary and can’t trust love.
- The boy that was bullied by his father, or other boys, becomes the man who believes that harshness is strength.
- The ‘boy-within’ who wasn’t allowed to ‘feel’ learned to ‘stuff’ his emotions and shame others about theirs’.
The ‘boy-within’ becomes the man-you-love. He has lived the rigid life of masculinity.
He won’t complain about what is required of him but neither does he know how to enjoy true intimacy that is the hallmark of femininity. He needs and wants intimacy but what he believes about fulfilling his intimate needs may be a journey that will be hard for the opposite sex to comprehend, because women haven’t been prepared to challenge a man who is afraid–to–be–known.
