Anger Tells the Truth
Anger gives you the power to talk about your hurt while you are hurting. It can be used to maintain distance between you and someone who has hurt you. Anger motivates you to make changes that are needed.
While you carve a new identity, anger can protect your personal space.
If no one knows your anger, you are not known.
Allow anger to absorb you for as long as it takes to resolve your hurt. When you are angry, do not be distracted by worrying about the feelings of others; their response to your anger is an opportunity for them to love you.
Anger calls you to a healthy narcissism, and for that reason, it may make you feel unwomanly.
Anger says to you in language you cannot deny: Be a new woman! Be a real woman! Be a whole woman!
Kiss Your Life... 365 Reasons to Love Who You Are
By: Ann Mody Lewis, Ph.D.
Reason: 252 Page: 270
Commentary:
Commentary:
The truth isn't always pleasant to hear, feel, or talk about; but if it's avoided, insanity will take its place. This doesn't mean that truth is the same for everyone, but everyone has the responsibility to tell their truth and deserves the right to be heard.
When I speak about anger as a truth-telling-emotional-serum, I am not talking about rage -- although anger can be emotional, loud and messy. Rage is different because it is insulting, demeaning and so offending; it creates deep wounds that are difficult to heal. The truth we tell may be buried deep in our childhood or a consequence of our adult lives; but, for sure, the truth about our anger is a consequence of living in an imperfect world. Parents may use shame to stop their children from being angry. This obstruction of emotion prepares them for depression.
Anger is an energy that demands action! Our body and mind collaborate to make anger possible. When angry we become:
restless and agitated
we perspire
our heart may pound
our eyes dilate,
and we may want to shout
or fall into a toxic silence.
If we ignore these symptoms, our body holds the pain. Anger that is not released in some way will make us sick in every way ... not instantly, but over time.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel
in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured.
(Mark Twain)
Realizing this fundamental truth about anger can help you realize that how you manage anger will affect your health. Living our lives as if we should never be angry is stifles our identity; because anger is the emotion that tells others what hurts and disappoints us or and what has happened to us.
The dialogue that anger demands will unmask the invisibilities of anger so our health and happiness are not endangered. Anger can be a form of love made visible through communication. Don't fear the truth of anger nearly as much as its repression. Contrary to culture, we are challenged to make this primal emotion out best friend.
This month's discussion will feast on the honesty of your truth and encourage emotional maturity. Topics will include:
- Why is anger a prohibitive emotion for women and proof of masculine power for men?
- How can anger build your relationship?
- Does anger have a legitimate season as all other emotions?
- Why do some parents have a hard time letting their children be angry?
- What are the various ways we can take care of our anger?
Let's talk about anger with positivity.
Ann
